National Domestic Violence Helpline

What is abuse?

Domestic abuse is a pattern of behaviour on the part of the abuser designed to control his partner. It can happen at any point in a relationship, including after you have split up.

Anyone forced to change their behaviour because they are frightened of their partner or ex-partner's reaction is experiencing abuse.

Domestic abuse can happen to anyone, regardless of age, background, gender, religion, sexuality, or ethnicity. However, statistics show most domestic abuse is carried out by men and experienced by women.

Domestic abuse is never the fault of the person who is experiencing it.

Domestic abuse is a crime.

Spotting the signs

• Is your partner jealous and possessive?
• Is he charming one minute and abusive the next?
• Does he tell you what to wear, where to go, and who to see?
• Does he constantly put you down?
• Does he play mind games and make you doubt your judgement?
• Does he control your money, or make sure you are dependent on him for everyday things?
• Does he pressure you to have sex when you don't want to?
• Are you starting to walk on eggshells to avoid making him angry?
• Does he control your access to medicine, devices, or care that you need?
• Does he monitor or track your movements or messages?
• Does he use anger and intimidation to frighten and control you?

Keeping safe

• Living with my abuser
• Leaving an abuser
• Left my abuser

Your rights and options

If you are experiencing domestic abuse, there is support available. Your partner may tell you that nobody will believe you or help you. That is not the case. You are not alone. Here is information on the most common areas women who call the Helpline ask about.

• Legal help
• Help with housing
• Help with money
• Protecting my children
• Government benefits
• Domestic abuse services

Support for men experiencing domestic abuse

We recognise that men can experience domestic abuse too. Nobody should have to live in fear of their partner. There are specialist services to support men. Go to Men's Advice Line

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